Am I too friendly?
I have always been an upbeat friendly person. I am involved with a divorced
thirty-year-old man. He claims that I am too friendly with men, (especially
When we go out I say hello to everyone. When we discussed the situation,
he wants me to quit 'flirting' with men. For twenty-eight years, I have
been this friendly, with many friends to show for it. His ex-wife cheated
and left him for another man. I am afraid his insecurities from his divorce
are being revealed as jealousy in our relationship. His jealousy makes
me feel I need to stifle myself to make him feel better.
I need some suggestions on how to deal with him, and what is acceptable
and unacceptable behavior with jealousy? If I am patient will his insecurities
dwindle when he sees I am not like his ex?
It won't get better without a change of attitude all round. He sees this
as your behavioural problem. But you describe it as a jealousy problem
- his problem.
If you are right - and your story sounds pretty convincing! - nothing
will improve until he recognizes this as HIS problem.
He - or both of you - may benefit from counselling; but first have a
serious discussion, not about an incident, but about jealousy as a destroyer