Dating a newly divorced man

Dorothy wrote:

I have recently started dating a wonderful man who is recently dirvorced. By Rencently I mean, the divorce was final four months ago. He still has some contact with the ex due to the house and pets and she still has some items at the house.

I am trying to be understanding about this stuff. He wants it to be a peaceful affair, not a war between him and her. But I keep wondering, is this a rebound relationship? Is he ready for a new relaitonship? He says he is, and that his marriage was over a long time ago, way before they split.

We are getting along so well and have a lot of passion for life together. I don't want to let my anxiety of being hurt interfere with something that can be wonderful, but I can't help thinking about it on occasion. He has been really honest and upfront to this point. What would be your advice in this situation?

Dear Dorothy

Don't crowd him. He may or may not be on the rebound; only time will tell, and (no disrespect) he is not a reliable witness in this matter.

Even if he is on the rebound, that does not mean your relationship cannot work, only that it might have unfair stresses in addition the usual human failings!

Just take things gently; enjoy what you have, and wait and see. If he is on the rebound, his inclination may be to agree to things rather than be sensible; to push things forward, in order to 'prove' his new loyalty.

If you go along with that, you'll force him to live up to things he's really not ready for. And that cannot last long.