I'm not enjoying sex with my boyfriend

Tanya wrote:

I am 23 years old and I have sex once in a blue moon. I met this guy and I like him a lot. I tried having sex with him once , but his penis is huge and it hurts me very bad. I could barely take it. I want to have sex with him and he wants to have sex with me, but I keep on putting him off because I'm afraid of the pain. Please help me.

Dear Tanya,

You don't say anything about your previous boyfriends, or previous experience, so I'm guessing there was no problem, and you have no concerns about your health or your body.

You are also not very specific about his size; is it 'abnormally large' or just large; is it long, very thick or both ... in short, if his penis really is very, very large, then you simply need to be that much more slow, careful and gentle with each other.

But remember that your vagina was designed to allow a baby to pass through, and so a penis that really is too large would be quite something!

What is more likely, is that your anxiety has prevented your natural lubrication from happening; the resulting tightness has confirmed your fears, making the whole business uncomfortable.

Take your time - both of you - stay with foreplay until you you are sure, thn take things really slowly. If it really is a case of your head being overruled by unconscious fears, then using lubrication for a couple of times might do the trick.

But when your body throws up anxiety, you'd be wise to be sure there's nothing to be anxious about.