I'm dating someone that is 5 years older than I am. I care for him and
as far as I know, he cares (a lot) about me.
To get straight to the point... I'm still a virgin but I don't want to
be one anymore. It's not like I feel pressured to lose my virginity, it's
just that mentally (and physically), I believe I am ready to handle the
I know he has had sex with his past girlfriends and that he's not a virgin,
which kind of scares me a bit; to explain, I know that he has experience
in this "field" so to speak. I'm just afraid that if I have
sex with him, I won't know what to do... since I'm a little ol' virgin,
I don't know how to act and I wouldn't know what to say or do.
How can and should I act if I do choose to lose my virginity with him,
or any man? Are you supposed to just "go with the flow" or something?
He knows that I'm a virgin, so should I just talk it over with him, how
I feel about the whole thing? Does my needing reassurance prove that I
really am not ready yet?
Please help!!! I feel confused and I need some answers before I make
any wrong decisions...
I don't think there are any rules .. except those agreed between you
and your partner. It's important to discuss not just the event, but also
your anxieties, which sound eminently sensible to me. You say you are
not under pressure, and I've no reason to doubt you ... but be sure you
are not competing with ghosts from the past; if he does really care, I
promise you he'll be willing to wait until you are sure.
Your boyfriend needs to understand that you might change your mind at
very short notice, and he might need to talk you through it ... whatever
Once you've started to talk it over, I think you'll know whether you
can trust him - and that's rather important.
Don't forget to discuss contraception.
Oh, and one little passion killer for you ... Do be sure where the relationship
is going before you even think about it!