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Dating a Younger Woman

Unwin wrote:

I am a 28 year old guy that hasn't had many relationships in my life so far. For the most part I haven't found anyone that I connect with. A month ago I started talking with a wonderful girl on the phone. She had told me that she was 19 years old and at first I was very hesitant to pursue her because of the age difference but we hit it off and I mean we really hit it off. We have been talking every day and for the first time in my life I feel complete but only when I'm talking with her. I love everything about this girl and can't think of not being with her. We have not had sex yet and do not plan on it until were married. I know it sounds very old fashion but she is still a virgin. I am almost convinced that she is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I recently found out though that she is 17 years old and about to turn 18. I don't blame her for keeping that from me though. Although now the age gap is 10 years, I still love her very much but I fear what everyone else will think and say about us being so much different in age. I know that she loves me. She is currently living with her Father who is 52 and has been divorced twice now and is now preparing to marry a 22 year old girl. He has no idea about me and her. What advice do you have for me in dealing with the difference in age? And is there a chance that we can live happily ever after?

Dear Unwin,

You have as much chance as anyone else of making it work, provided you both put the work in.

The danger of age difference is that you may not have enough in common; talking is easy when the relationship is young, but as time passes, shared interests will grow in importance. Don't just talk, Do things together. Find out what you like, what matters.

And when you talk, talk about things that don't matter now - but will matter if you stay together. Big things; do you agree on the death penalty, on invading Iraq? Little things; do you each prefer cats or dogs?

With any relationship, its chances depend more on depth than much else - with an age difference, that becomes that little bit more important.

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