Is Incest Abnormal?

Zhifu wrote:

I would like to ask you a question about incest. I've been in love with my first cousin, the daughter of my mother's elder sister for almost three years. And we also have sexual relationship during those three years.

People here are very sensitive about the relationship like this. She loves me very much and I love her too. We have decided that we will marry one day. I can also feel that she is my life-partner for my whole life.

But I would like to know whether sexual relationship with my first cousin is normal? Is it psycho? But I decided that I will marry her.

And will there be any problems in pregnancy and the baby we'll get, since we are very closed relatives. Because I heard from others that there may be some problems on the baby.

Anyway, could you please reply my mail and keep my mail in a confidential place? Thank you in advance....

Dear Zhifu

First, let me emphasise that I always change names of people who write - and any other information that might identify an individual.

You need to check the laws of your country; but cousin-to-cousin bonds are not usually illegal, and rarely seen as incest.

Biologically, first cousin relationships pose no significant threat to the baby, other than any dominant gene problems that you are already aware of. (Unless cousin to cousin relationships occur frequently - which seems unlikely in your case).

The big issue is culture; in most cultures, I think your relationship would be a little unusual; in a few it would be very welcome - and in a few, it would be unforgiveable.

Both of you should investiget this, and decide if - and how - you can live with it. And do so before you make any long term commitment.