Dealing With Letting Go

Beatrice wrote:

I have been with my daughter's father for six years and he is a drug addict. I love him and have tried everything to help him, but know it is his choice.

I have told him to leave I don't know how many times only to let him come back home. It tears me apart to see him the way he is. How do I let go and stick to my word when I tell him to leave.

Our daughter is getting old enough to know something is really wrong with her dad. I don't want her to see him this way. Please help!

Dear Beatrice

It really depends on what you really want - If you wish to help him, then you know that giving in is simply prolonging his agony, whereas if you are strong, you may bring forward the day when he has to make his life or death decision.

And you know that the longer you let him avoid that decision, the harder it will be for him, and the more likely he will choose death.

Of course, he will never see it in those terms. But you know what he is doing to himself, you know that he is going to get (mentally) weaker. You know that he needs to see strength around him, and needs all the remaining strength he has.

So, if you love him, let him go. And pray that he chooses life. For it is a fact that love cannot cure addiction ... courage can start the process (your courage) and courage can complete the process (his courage).

I know of no short cuts. And no, it will not be easy.

And as you point out, his daughter needs to be protected from his current choices. as, I suspect, you do too.