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Phazed and confused

Confused wrote:

My Ex-girlfriend and I were together for almost two years and we had our fights, but we really loved each other and tried to work it out.

We are on a break right now and I always thought a break meant other people and no communication between her and I. She still calls me everyday and tells me she miss me and loves me and that she knows I am the one for her.

I feel the same way but I think the break is stupid and it causes more fights.

What do you think will get us back together? I think her friends influence her and she knows I don't like them.

Dear Confused

I am too.

You don't say what these fights have been about, nor how you make peace; I suspect you realise that they don't matter. What does matter is not what you endlessly bicker about, but what is not discussed.

After two years, maybe you should address the future; perhaps one of you has realised that?

Relationships start out with an almost telepathic agreement; easy to forget that that wears off when there's serious issues to discuss ... if you two cannot agree on what a break means (it means what you two agree it means) then there's not really a lot of hope.

Also, when you choose a woman, her friends come for free, for good or ill - live with it.

It's time you actually spoke to each other. What do you each want from the relationship? Who sees it as permanent, and who doesn't?

After two years, you each know what you are taking on ... and you know if that's what you want.

If you love her, talk to her. If you just cannot be bothered to move on, then accept the situation as it is. And I'd say the same to her, I promise.

Decision time, I suspect.

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