Husband Half Unfaithful
My husband of 20 plus years tried to have sex with a woman he met about
9 months ago. I say tried because he didn't finish what he started. He
tried but things just would not hold up for him.
He says that the woman needs a friend and he feels that he is the one
that she needs. He says that he loves me and his family, but he cares
for this woman.
He is there for her whenever she calls. She calls him to stop to the
store and pick up groceries, etc. and he does. Mind you this is taking
away from the funds that we have as a family. He continues to do this,
I have tried to take away his access to the funds in our account, but
I can't make changes to the direct deposit of his paycheck, only he can
do that. I have let him feel the effects of him using our money, phone,
gas and electric, water, etc. have been turned off, (they are all in his
name) and he still does not see what he is doing.
This woman has a daughter and he has even asked her if he could be her
daughter's godfather and of course she agreed. He now feels more responsible
to her, he feels that this is a responsibility to the daughter, because
he is her godfather. This woman lives with her sister and he has become
the male in the household. He takes her home from work everyday and and
then checks to see if they need anything. When my husband gets home he
feels that I should have things at home taken care of, make sure that
the house is cleaned, his clothes are cleaned and pressed, etc. I could
go on and on with other things, but I would like to know what to do? I
still love my husband and he says he still loves me.
Funny word, Love; what does it mean?
Let's look at the facts. Not only are you sharing your husband, but you
are clearly the number two wife. Don't worry that he hasn't yet betrayed
you in bed ... it's just a matter of time, isn't it?
Question is, do you love him, are you prepared to put up with this ...
Sounds as if he's ignoring all your attempts to stop him. Is he just
waiting for you to move out? If so, he's on shakey ground by not just
saying so - many would say it looks like consistent, planned cruelty.
You cannot force your husband to be faithful - or to love you. You can
force him to behave in an honest, reasonable way, though. But only if
you are prepared to stand up for yourself.
See a lawyer about your rights. Start keeping a diary of his movements,
his spending, and his reactions when you try to discuss it.