She Loves me, She Loves Me Not ...

Stan wrote:

I'm really confused and could use some help. I am involved with a woman whom I met 27 years ago. She had a crush on me then, though I did not know it then. By pure chance, and accident, we found each other again through the internet.

Things went great for a while. We were engaged, her kids loved me, my kids love her, I thought we were both very happy. Then in March of 2002 we were involved in an accident on my motorcycle. Thank God she was uninjured, but I on the other hand was injured enough that I was ordered off work by my doctor. (I later lost the job).

My checks stopped coming in the mail, and things rapidly went to heck financially. She started suggesting that I should go be roomates with a freind of mine, because her father was getting alzheimers disease and she had to move him in with her.

Since I left her dad only lived with her a short time before moving back into his condo. But she has found excuse after excuse not to have me back. I ask her once in a while if she still loves me, or is it over? She always says she still loves me and always will, but can't give me the relationship I want because of all the problems in her life right now. When we are both in town, I rarely see her. but if I take her to Las Vegas, or somewhere, she's then intimate with me.

What the heck is going on? Please tell me what you think.

Dear Stan

I suspect there's a security issue, since your injury, but maybe you should believe her, she might have many problems of her own.

Either way, your priority must be to get your own life together - once you are sorted, she may become interested again; if not, you'll just have to move on. but so long as she cannot depend on you - and maybe feels you are too dependant on her - things ain't gonna click.

Let her know she can get in touch any time, but tell her you need to get on with your life. And do it.