Please Grow UP!
I was born into a family of 8. I have 3 older sisters and 3 older brothers.
I am the baby sister. At 33, I have my "oldest" sister (42)
and her boyfriend (42) and her son (22) living with me. This isn't the
first time. I have 3 children of my own. I love them alot but I don't
know how to say no when it comes to needing a place to live.
They get evicted often for lack of work and what I believe to be drugs
and gambling problems. They'll keep an apartment for six months then they
end up back at my apartment. My nephew is an ex-felon. He isn't violent.
But he is extremely lazy. He had a very troubled childhood because of
my sister not being able to stay on her feet.
Once again I love them and I want to help them. But I can only do so
much. I am on a small limited income, single, and again 3 kids. I cannot
afford to support 3 adults. My question is "In what healthy, tactful
way can I ask them to move out and TO GROW UP?"
It's easy the SHOUT HERE - but you've not shouted at them - in fact,
you've been part of the problem.
Why should they grow up, when you provide a soft landing every time?
It's much too late now for 'healthy. tactful' approaches, as you well
know. it's time for healthy, honest approaches.
Best, probably, to wait until next time they go, then make it clear that
you cannot accomodate them again; try to leave them with an alternative
offer if you can, to soften the blow. And if you can, fill your apartment
so they can see there's no room.
Of course, this time they may not move out - is it that fear that has
prompted you to write? Be strong, and stick to your word.