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Where do I go from here?

Eunice wrote:

This is going to be long winded.

I met a guy, I fancied him like mad and after a while we started dating, it was my original intention that I would just use him for a good time, I had just left a particurlarly bad relationship and was very wary about getting emotionally close to somoone again, I never told my boyfriend this, basically after a month I realised that actually I had fallen in love with him, but I'd left it too late to get to know him properly, I didnt know how to tell him how I felt. It's not that we don't know each other as people, I know his nature and insecurities etc, it was just the past and stuff, we talked but I still felt wary about letting him too close and that was probably the problem.

One night he phoned me and told me it was over cos his heart wasnt in it. we met the next day and talked about how we didn't know each other and turned out he was scared that we didn't know each other as well, we had the best conversation that we'd ever had in our whole relationship and I knew that if I'd have pushed it wed have got back together but I didnt want to force him. so I left it, intendant on coming on to him in a couple of weeks.

The next day I ran into his brother and we talked, until he tried it on, I told him it wasn't gonna happen and he took it ok. Unfortunately my exs friends all saw us together and told him wed been kissing, etc and when he confronted his brother he told him it was true and that I'd been seeing him behind his back. My ex was very screwed by it all, if it werent for the fact his friends had seen us together hed never have believed it.

Nearly a month later I text him asking if there wa any chance for us, I expected him to say no, but he asked to see me the next day outside college, I agreed and told him to text me when he was outside, he didn't and I was absolutely gutted, but it turned out he'd been waiting there and I'd stood him up. So I sent him another message telling him to meet me the next day and said I didnt really care if he did or not, he didnt turn up.

I was just getting used to the fact he didnt want me and I found out a guy I'd fancied for a long time fancied me. Then a weeek later he text me saying he was sorry and wanted to seee me, I ignored it assunming he was drunk but one of my friends text him, he didnt reply and when I found out I apologised knowing full well they'd probably sent something bad. later that nite I text him asking something really trivial and asked what he was sorry for, he replied to the question, but said nothing about meeting or anything. that was a week ago, the problem is I'm still completely in love with him and have no idea what to do, I don't know how he feels if I knew he didn't want me I could get on with it but I dont know, I've tried to get over him, but its just not happening. I miss him insanely and want him back, my friends think I'm mad as I have plenty of blokes falling over themselves to be with me and their all nice but theyre just not him. what do you think I should do?

Dear Eunice

I'd like to think that you might learn from your mistakes, but I suspect that so long as there are "blokes falling over themselves", that ain't gonna happen.

One day, the queue will fizzle out, and you'll be all alone.

My advice is quite simple. Slow down and grow up.

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