We Are the Perfect Family

Lorna wrote:

I have been married for 13 years. My husband and I have a wonderful daughter. We are what some (and I) consider the "perfect" family.

When my husband and I were married (both at age 20), we lived near his mother and sister (and her family) in Florida. We lived near his family approximately 8 years. We all became very close and did almost everything together.

Six years ago, my husband, daughter, and I moved to Kentucky. Other than a couple of visits per year, we didn't see much of his family. My family became very self-sufficient and independent from his or my family.

Recently, my husband's mother moved to the same town and then his sister and her family. Since his sister's arrival, it seems as though we spend every waking, free moment with his family. Every trip, activity, etc. includes his family and sister's family. It has really cut into my family and free time.

Not only is my precious family and free time at risk, I am having issues with the morals my husband's sister has and uses in raising her two children.

My daughter, an only child, is absolutely in love with the new arrangement. My husband is happy about the situation. As the only in-law, I feel as though my free time is being invaded and I want to spend some time with my friends (without his family) that we have managed to make while we were apart from my husbands family. I have spoken to my husband about this issue and he becomes very angry, unwilling to discuss the matter, and keeps telling me to give it time. What should I do?....

Dear Lorna

"We Are The Perfect Family "

Says it all, doesn't it? You make that outlandish claim, then tell a tale of near marital breakdown.

These issues needs sorting out twelve years ago, and I suspect there's going to be no happy ending. Your delusion of the Perfect Marriage has lead you to look down your nose at others, and I think you feel too good for his family.

Perhaps you also feel too good for him, and he turns to his family who accept him for what he is?

I don't know - Do you?

You need to talk - and you need to realise that nothing will change unless you change. Best of Luck.