I feel like a lost cause
I have been so depressed for so long that I am afraid to feel different.
I was abused as a child and I like to think I have come to terms with
it but is still haunts me.
There was only one person who I completely trusted and loved. She was
so wonderful, I was only ever happy when she was around. I did some very
stupid things including tell her how I felt about her and things did not
go well. I have not seen her for the past 6 years, but I can't move on
with my life. Every time I try I can't help but think of how things could
I just sit at home. I just want her out of my head now. I have problems
trusting any one which makes relationships and friendships hard to hold
on to. I don't go out. the only time I interact with any one is at work.
I can't be in crowded places, I get very unsettled when I see women I
find attractive. I feel like a lost cause.
You know that I can't help with problems as deep as yours, so i have
to ask why you wrote?
You have a job, you meet people - so that's quite a lot more than many
people. You are lonely, as are thousands of other people.
You live in the past ... with your history, perhaps that's understandable.
But you write as if you have no choices at all. You could seek therapy
for the abuse, which you blame for your problems. You could simply join
a club or two, where you'll get to meet people.
But you have to exercise choice; choice in what you do, choice in who
you befriend, choice in how you handle friendship.
It might not be easy; but you know it's possible. You know that there
is help available, and you know that no-one can help you unless you choose
to accept help - and put in some effort.
I'm NOT saying pull yourself together, because you cannot do it
alone - but having written to me, you have acknowledged that you can start
the process of being helped.
Go for it!