The Effects of Gambling on Marriage

Robbie wrote:

I've been married for 22 years. Our relationship in the last 3 years has become unloving and hostile, because my wife likes to go out gambling with her frinds untill 5 or 6 a.m the next day.

I recently found out that my wife had been covering up a 5000 dollar credit debt from gambling . She seems to prefer the company of her girl friends and gambling over our relationship. I frequently try to get my wife to become more involved with me and to act more loving towards me . I don't understand this, am I just not getting the hint.

I've tried everything from counsellors,etc.. nothing works.

The way my wife acts towards me is very hateful, resentful and harsh. Her lies, gambling and unloving disposition are destroying our marriage. We can't talk, it's always an arguement. I feel at times that I'm the last person in line friends and everything else comes first in her life.

I hope that you may shed some light into this dark tunnel.

Dear Robbie

No, you are not getting the hint.

Your marriage is dying, if not dead, and you seem to be determined to ignore all the warning signs.

It is possible - but very rare - that one member of a marriage is 100% at fault, the other 100% Good Guy. And yet, despite counselling "etc", you blame you wife for everything, and do not even seem to recognise that she might see it any other way.

Instead of whining, why not try asking her what's wrong?

And listening.