Confused About Ex's Intentions ...
Toby wrote:
I first meet her about 10 months ago. She won me at a glimpse. She was
17 at the time and I was 20. We dated for 8 months and have been broken
up for 6 weeks.
We both agree that the time shared was the best 8 months of our lives.
She became very possesive of me and I couldn't talk to any of my friends
either guys or girls. Until one day I said I was going out with the boys
for a few drinks and she broke up with me over it.
In the past 6 weeks I have been with other girls but that spark is missing.
I was going fine until one night I saw her at the club and she admitted
that there is nothing more she would like to do then kiss me right now,
and admitted that she had made a mistake, although she was drunk. I didn't
know if I could beleive her or not, I told her we could still get back
together and she ran off crying.
1 week later she wrote me a message saying we needed to talk. When I
arrived she told me her sister told her what she said to me and wanted
to know the exact story. So I told her and she confirmed it was true,
saying things like she never stops thinking about me cause I'm the first
person she thinks of in the morning and the last person at night to the
extent were she can't sleep, although she says she just want to be friends,
then when I ask her if she's sure, she says she doesn't know and she's
confused.
I can see she's putting up a barrier to stop me from getting close, and
i think in time it may come down, but am not sure. I would be ok if she
could be 100% sure about her decision but she's not and I can't let go
of this hope. Sometimes she can't look me in the eye and its cause im
sure she still cought up with me some were.
I need your advise on what to do! Its driving me crazy to the point im
losing almost everything.
Dear Toby
From your account, she certainly sounds mixed up. the age difference
may account for this, but I suspect there's other issues that you haven't
told me (may be you don't know?).
There seems a lack of trust - and I've been given no clue why.
I also suspect that you both like to be in control; her dumping you for
one night out with the boys illustrates her side - your need for 'all
or nothing' shows yours.
I'd suggest you slow down; make it work as a friendship before you even
think about more, and do try to resolve the trust issue through open and
honest discussion. Without trust, you have no friendship; let alone love.
But, sadly, sometimes that magic can never be rebuilt, and you may need
to face that.
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