Wife has lost interest in sex

Keith wrote:

I've been married over 7 years. The first two years our sex life was great.

The last five years it has been the same, she don't touch me and don't let me play with her. She just says do it, and thats it. We use to have sex almost every night but now it is once every week and a half to two weeks.

I love to do oral on her but she will not let me and she does not do it for me. We use to but she stopped it. I know I am probably not a good lover but she want teach me or show me what she wants.

I have tried to talk to her several times about this but she want listen. I know she is not cheating and I do not want to cheat either.I need help, this has got me real depressed.

I love my wife and want to make her happy, but she is making me feel like I am not a man, I need to feel wanted. Please help.

Dear Keith

Lack of sex can become a huge issue, but the solution is unlikely to be in the bedroom.

You need to look at the marriage as a whole, and consider what has changed. You do not mention, for example, whether you have children or not - or if that's an issue.

But that is but one example. You need to find out, and first you need to talk. Not about sex, but about the marriage; not in the bedroom, but somewhere safe and comfortable for you both.

If I am wrong, and it is just a sex thing, it still needs to be discussed, but not at the time - there's already enough tension. If you cannot resolve it between you, do consider confidential counselling. Do also ask her to consider whether it's a medical issue; if she's getting pain, a discharge, or has period or miscarriage problems, she may need to get a thorough check up.

Good Luck.