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10-year-old in Dad's Bed

Emma wrote:

I spend a few days each week at my fiancé's house, and he has a daughter who is almost 10.

The problem is, she often claims she cannot sleep at night, and goes into her Dad's bed. He always allows her, and never even tells her to go back to her own room. She does this regardless of whether I'm there or not. She is an only child and is used to getting her way.

I would like to talk to him about this because obviously I don't like it. His daughter gets on extremely well with me (and I with her). How can I bring up the subject without hurting anyone?
submit: Send to Ask Anon

Dear Emma

This is a very serious matter.

First, it is (at best) a weird thing to happen in this day and age - most odd that neither of them have considered the effects.

It is certainly not in the child's best interest, however innocent.

Also, it suggests that the daughter resents your visits, and your man either has failed to notice - or is failing to build the relationship. You might consider why.

You say you get on with her; and that's fine - but she appears to be saying that you have limits, and she has control.

I don't often strongly advise, but where children are concerned, there's no room for such serious doubts.

I think you need to discuss this with him, and you need to stop staying over until he has convinced you that the matter is settled.

Silence is not an option for you; you need to speak up.

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30 November 2016  |     |  Contact