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I want to lose my virginity

Penny wrote:

I want to lose my virginity with my boyfriend now at 14 but
my mom is makes a big deal about sex and says that im ging to regreat it when im older!!

Can you tell the big things about sex!! I know about the
deseases but he hasn't lost his virginity either so I don't have to worry about AIDS or any other diseases!! The only thing I'm worried about is getting pregnant or regreting it but pregnancy is not that big of a deal if I have protection!! pleaz help!! thanx

Dear Penny

Virginity is a weird thing; physically it is a very minor thing, but, in most societies, it has become an important symbol.

Starting with the physical, there are four issues that come immediately to mind; pain, bleeding, infection and pregnancy.

Most seem to experience pain - but often not a lot, and usually it's brief. Similarly with bleeding; sometimes none or very little, occasionally enough to be frightening. Very, very rarely enough to be a problem.

Disease is a real issue; there's no law says virgins don't carry HIV - or other diseases. Though it is a 'low risk' - it's still a real one, so a condom would be a good idea.

Pregnancy happens, to the nicest of people, and others. If you do not want to get pregnant, then you have a responsibility to make sure you don't!

But what about the regrets?

I'm not here to give moral lectures, but I'll suggest a few things to think about - but it's your choice, and only yours.

In favour of giving away your virginity:

  • it'll make him happy
  • you'll be able to boast to your friends
  • no more worrying
  • it doesn't really matter
  • you love him
  • he's your man for life
  • it'll be an event to talk about
  • it gets in the way
  • in some way, you'll be more 'adult'

In favour of holding on to your virginity:

  • You have only one
  • You may feel cheap and dirty afterward
  • You may lose him
  • He will talk about it
  • It will not make him love you
  • It will not make him loyal
  • You may get pregnant
  • You may catch more than a cold
  • You'll never, ever, forget it

Different issues will matter to different people - and I'm sure I've missed thousands - at the end of the day, you just have to think about it carefully and decide what's important to you.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

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