Imaginary creatures surround me...

Cate wrote:

Hello, I am 20 years old, female with a little secret, which I seldom share with others.

Imaginary creatures surround me. Since as long as I can remember I have always struggled to have friends and lived a lonely life enjoying my own company. Growing up my imaginary friend stayed by my side, becoming an age older each year and even visits my sexual fantasies. Now wet dreams are quite normal but I talk with him while we walk down the street.

I usually don't talk out aloud I am aware I would appear as a madwoman, but in private we do. I see him and a lot of other things as clear as day, lampposts bows down to me, and trees greets me, I can hear and see them as real as any other person there. I am able to break out of this view at will but it is such a comfortable state of mind I often find myself surrounded by all kind of animals even in the art studio where I work.

I was sitting at Waterloo station waiting for my train in boredom when I suddenly saw two knights walk on to the station opposite of me, nobody was there but those two and they drew their swords starting to battle. I sat there in complete fascination and at one part I nearly laughed, holding it back to not draw any attention. I am aware it is just fantasy, but it is so real it sometimes leaves be slightly confused.

I can cut it at will, but often I choose not to, it is exceptionally strong when I am depressed, or if I am feeling a bit out of the ordinary. I see things move which shouldn't move, animals, and people appear where there shouldn't be people and they speak back at me. They join me when I am stressed and help me out, and when I feel lonely they come to keep me company.

I got a boyfriend now, and friends, for the first time in my life. My boyfriend regards them as one of my many quirks and finds them adorable, my friends wouldn't understand. It is not long ago since I realised that seeing things, talking to things not there, and having imaginary friends wasn't normal for somebody past the age of seven.

Please tell me I am not insane

Dear Cate

No, you are not insane.

You have been blessed with a rich imagination, that has served you well all these years; your little secret is probably much more common than you'd think.

What seems to be worrying you is the margin between your private world, and the real one.

You say that you are in control - and as you don't mention any embarassing conversations, I'd see no problem there.

You also have a 'real' boyfriend, so your world has not stopped you moving through reality as well as anyone else.

So long as your worlds do not collide, you'll have no problems, and I'm sure you'll be fine. Just lucky, I reckon - my visits to Waterloo are rarely that interesting!