Baby and Two Families Delia wrote: I have a problem with
both families. Since my husband and I had the baby four months ago both
families have went crazy!!! They call at all hours of the night, they tell
us what to do with the baby , how to dress the baby , what religion the baby should
be and get this they even tell us that we should
feed him food and I should
stop breastfeeding him. My husbands grandmother wants us to bring the baby
to CA so that the rest of the family can see him for Christmas this year and next
year. We live in VA and we simply cannot afford this at all!!! First question
how do you tell an old woman that we can't do this so she will stop asking. How
do you explain to her that during these tring times in the world today, it's not
safe anywhere... and why would she even want her great grandchild to be in such
awful maddness at an airport at only 4 months old. Anon please help me ,
please I am begging you to give me advice. Last of all his great grandmother
calls me telling me what I should do medical wise for the baby. Please note I
am a medical professional of 10 years.
Dear Delia Ouch! Families,
who needs them? trouble is, of course, they love you, and they love the baby,
and they want a piece of the action. On another level, families are very competitive,
and they'll fight to the death for the upper hand, even if baby is in the middle
- without ever realising that they're doing it. You need to sort this now,
or they'll be a tug of war with you and baby in the middle forever! First,
sit down with your husband, make sure he understands what's going on, because
you are going to need his help. You and your husband decide what you are going
to do this Christmas, as well as feeding, clothing, etc., then divide up responsibility
for dealing with it. For example, it might be an idea not to answer the phone
at night - or for your husband to do it. A few tetchy calls to him, not getting
to you at all, and they'll learn! Be straight about what you are going to do,
and don't promise next year ("who knows about next year!"). Do try
to be fair with both families .. but be selfish, for the baby's sake, and be firm.
Not easy - but vital now, or it'll only get worse.
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