I think I am in love

Darlene wrote:

This might seem crazy but I think I am in love. I am only 14
though. This summer I went camping with my friend and her cousin brought his friend. We camped with them for two weeks.

He is 15 and at first I thought he was cute and had a crush on him. But as the days went on we talked a lot to eachother and we really opened up to eachother. We also have so much in
common. I've never felt this way before with any other guy.

Every time we made eye contact I felt a connection between us. I know that sounds stupid but its true. We both always have something to talk about with eachother. That day we had to leave I sort of felt like to cry, cuz I knew I wouldnt see him for so long and I was going to miss him.

But we talk to eachother online and on the phone. I share stuff with him that I've never shared before with any one else. I feel really comfortable with him. He always says that he loves me and I say the same to him. I hope he really means it because I do.

So see I dont know if this is real love or not but I think it is real love. I miss him so much and sometimes cry because I miss
being with him so much. He always makes me smile even when I'm really sad. He lives like 70 mintues away from me so that is the sad thing. I havent seen him since this summer but hoping to see him soon. He always says he misses me and cant wait to see me again.

I want to go out with him and I don't. Because if we break up we won't have that special love between us. So I want to wait
till we are older and maybe you never know we might go out and get and maybe get married. We will just have to see.

But I truly have to say I love him. I think about him all the time. So do you really think we are in love or its just a crush. Please
write back or email me please! Thanks so much.

Dear Darlene

Sounds like love to me!

Darlen, it really does not matter if it's love or a crush; either way it's real, either way it'll hurt if it ends, either way life goes on.

At worst, it's 'propinquity' - a special kind of crush when two people can suspend reality for a while - but you've done pretty well so far.

You have a good friend, and that can last a lifetime, even if the passion doesn't.

I'd give you three thoughts to keep in mind:

Don't let the relationship stop you living in the here and now; if the relationship is real, then it's strong enough to be part of your real life.

Don't be tempted to deceive - when you are apart, only an honest relationship can grow. White lies destroy trust faster than black lies, because they're so pointless.

Don't freeze the relationship - talk about things that matter in the real world. However far apart you are, you can't 'hold the moment' - relationships that don't progress will die.

Good Luck - and let me know how it pans out.