He puts his Mom before ME

Kerry wrote:

He and I have been engaged for about three years.

We do not plan to marry soon because we live in separate towns and I want to let my sons finish school in their hometown and because Sam's mother is elderly with a heart condition and she cannot drive, therefore he feels obligated to stay close to her.

I have always felt that his mother controls him in a passive / aggressive sort of way (although she is very sweet).

Recently a friend sent us duplicate e-mails asking a few questions to help friends get to know friends better. One of the questions was ...What is important to you? On this question I put .. my loved ones.

When Sam filled out the questionnaire and sent it to me .. I noticed he listed (in this order) my mom, my sister, my daughter, and Kerry (me). I was very upset. His daughter is grown and lives out of state.

He says I am overreacting. I think any grown man that lists his mother first on an 'important to me list'...is a big momma's boy. I worry that unless I can settle this in my mind, it will do irrevocable damage to our relationship.

Am I overreacting??

Dear Kerry

Yes, you are.

If you are frustrated, impatient, tired of him, whatever, then have the guts to say so, not pick a fight which "will do irrevocable damage to our relationship" over something so silly.