Is it rearing its Ugly Head?

Naomi wrote:

Well I am going to start by saying that I really love my boyfriend and I am sure of it, no questions asked this time.

I am fairly sure that he has had sex in relationships before me, twice, as far as I know. I dont know if he will try snyhting with me but I am afraid that he may expect it. What should I do, should I talk to him? I am also worried that he doesn't love me as much as I love him, is he going to think that I am obsessed??

This is the second time we have been together, the first time was about three months and he never bothered me with talk about sex, so I wasn't worried but now I have my share of worries. but I do love him and don't want to lose him again, it would break my heart. can you help I just need some opinions here.

Thank you so much for your time,

Dear Naomi

In Real Life, you can't completely seperate love and sex; they happen in relationships and they overlap in so many ways.

But when you are thinking about difficult choices, it might help to think about them as two completely different things.

If you love him, that means much more than lust. Doesn't it?

And if it does, then you'll lve him as without sex as much as with it.

Also, if he cares for you, then he cares for you. And he'll still care for you if you say 'no' - so long as he understands your reasons, and you don't torture him.

So, to sex. If you are honest, you either want it, and you are ready for it, or not. You need to know - because if you don't know, how can he know? And if you shilly shally around, you lose him, and you'll lose your self respect.

For what?

Decide what you want; work out who cares for whom, and how much. Then go forward with honesty and trust. And if you don't trust him, don't.

Whatever sex is, it will not buy love - and it will not change a bad man into a good one (though it can change a good man into a bad one).

To summarise, Know Yourself