Is there hope for lying husband?
Ursula wrote:
My husband and I have been married for eight months (been together 9½
years), since we were both 14 years old.
We have a 2½ year old son together. After being married about a month,
he came to me and told me he loved me but he wasn't sure if he was still
in love with me.
He swore to me there wasn't anyone else. A few months later he told me
that he thinks he's in love with someone else who he works with (she was
at our wedding!).
I decided to move out with my son and we went to a counselor twice and
my husband said he just doesn't see things working out between us because
he hurt me so much.
He has told me he stopped seeing this girl and that nothing physical
ever happened between them and I want to believe him but can I?
Last week when I saw him he told me he really misses me and he kissed
me and now I'm totally confused and he said he is to. He suggested
we get together and talk and I agreed.
Now he says we don't need to talk anymore and I wonder if he's back with
the other girl. I still love him very much and I want to get my family
back together but what can I do?
Dear Ursula
From what you say, I have to say that I suspect he's a liar and a fool;
he sounds like the kid you loved when you were 14.
Trouble is, you are treating him as if he's 14, and acting as if you
are.
Get real, grow up - and tell him to to likewise. You must (for a few
minutes at least) put aside your romantic love for your boy, and realise
that you have a son, who innocently belives you will secure his future.
Your husband, if he could keep his fly zipped for ten minutes, could
usefully remeber his son, too.
Tell the idiot that you want the family together, and if he will stop
lying and screwing, you'll give counselling one more chance.
Tell the idiot that you are sick of his lies, his screwing and his weakness,
and you will not put up with it; you have a child to consider. If he doesn't
agree to counselling, and put some real effort into it, it's over.
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but in my experience, women who allow their
husbands to act like jerks tend to find that their husband acts like a
jerk.
You are a woman and a mother; not a doormat for an adulterer.
Go for it!
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