Should I accept my husband's child?
My husband has cheated on me and had a child from this infidelity. This
illegitimate child is only two months younger than our son.
Now my husband is asking if he can bring his son home for some weekends.
He is turning two in July.
I feel I'm not yet ready for this responsibility as a stepmother. On
the other hand I feel I should support him if we are to have a good family
If you know some sites where I can get helpful advice, please assist.
I am 24 , my husband is 26. I am now insecure as I feel constant contact
will keep my husband and the mother of the child having an affair.
There's a lot of issues here, and I think it's probably best to get the
facts quite straight first.
You are not the child's stepmother - you mention the mother is still
around, and, I guess, caring for the child. You have no direct responsibility
to the child, but your husband does.
You do have responsibility toward your own child, however, and as this
situation could last almost 20 years, I'd suggest you need to be strong
Is your husband using his other child as a wedge to get the mother into
your lives, or is there a genuine caring for the child? Is he dumping
the child on you - or acting like a father? Does he realise the harm he
could be doing to you and your child?
Ask yourself these questions, and then ask him.
If you are not convinced by the answers, then you'll have confirmed what
you already suspect, and you must be prepared for that.
But do remember that if your husband does genuinely care for both children,
he is in a difficult position - yes, it's of his own making, but I hope
you've dealt with that?
He's still with you ... I hope you sorted it? Because if you didn't sort
the infidelity, then he might well feel he can use you again, through
I hope not - but you need to know.