Husband lost to drugs?

Norah wrote:

My husband is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, we got married just nine months ago.

I have been trying to deal with him with no any kind of luck, he's been trying to convince me that I am the one who has the problem .. he beat me many times so badly ...

I know that he loves me in his own way. I feel sick now with no self respect, no family , no money , no peace just a little hope that one day he would change.

But I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to live that long ... selfishness is killing him. I still love him that's for sure but I don't want to lose my self any more .. what shall I do please ?

Dear Norah

Not easy. I can't give the 'politically correct' answer, because I don't know what it is; so I'm afraid this is the best I can do.

Some people on drugs are simply not the same person any more. In the case of your husband, he's beating you - that doesn't sound quite right to me.

Just for a moment, think of him in this way; you have your Husband; but he currently exists only in memory. You also have your UnHusband, who thinks it's funny to hit you.

You've tried all this time; you still love your Husband, and your Husband still loves you.

But you do not, I suspect, love your UnHusband - and he most certainly does not love you. You owe him nothing, he wants just to use and abuse you.

The question you now must ask yourself is:

"What's the chances of UnHusband releasing Husband?"

You need to find an answer to that, and then make your decisions for the future. But don't confuse the two - they are NOT the same person.