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I wish I had a boyfriend

Kate writes:

Hi anon, I'm actually very glad you tell the exact truth, 'cos that is just what I want to hear! My problem may seem a bit sad, but it really does upset me.

I'm 14, and sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend. The guys don't seem to notice me though, or they find me unattractive. One of the two. I think it might be becoz I'm very short, and a bit dhubby, but I don't think I'm really ugly in the face, and my friends don't either.

I'm kinda shy too, though. What exactly is my problem?

Dear Kate,

I'm afraid your problems are the very worst type; the ones that don't exist.

Everything you've said shows that you have (broadly speaking) the kinds of hopes and fears that you ought to be having at your age.

Different people move at different speeds, and though it looks like like all the others are having boyfriends, it really isn't a competition - best to get a good one than anyone.

Do be honest with yourself, but not overly critical. You are still developing, so worry about the things you have control over. Posture; eye contact - walk tall and don't avoid the guys.

I don't know enough to give you detail, but if you're a little shy, concentrate on friendship, not boyfriendship.

Don't forget the guys are going through the same process - and they're about two years less emotionally mature.

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