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I've wasted three years of his life

Mel wrote:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years on and off and always fight. A stupid little argument which set off our last fight may have ended it for good.

I said something he didnt like and he hung up. I called him back and he refused to pick up so I left him a message saying "it's over".

Usually when we break up it only lasts for like a week without either one calling each other but I always end up giving in cuz he is totally stubborn. But it's been a record 3 weeks ...

How can I get him back? What will the future bring? He usually comes back but this time I really think he's sticking to his guns. I'm 17 and he's 18 and I'm so tired of fighting.

If we did get back together can we be saved?

Dear Mel. Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear Mel.

"I'm so tired of fighting" really is no basis for a long term relationship. Do you want a long term relationship? With him? What for?

In one sense, you were made for each other - you both like playing silly childish mind games. That, too, is no way to spend three years of your life. Is it?

Spend ten minutes thinking about him, not feeling sorry for yourself, and try to work out what it is you actually want. If it's him, great. Now spend a minute or two. Sorry, an hour or two, trying to figure what he wants. Can you give it? Do you want to?

If You decide there's a relationship there to save, call him. Don't whine, don't plead, don't do all the other things you do ... TALK TO HIM. Maybe listen, too? Good Luck!

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