Long Distance Love?
Hi Anon. I am a sixteen-year-old
girl, and have been head over heels in
love with a boy for over a year now. We
have had a very serious relationship, and
he says that he loves me too.
Our major downfall,
however, is that I moved about 3 hours
away, and only get to see him every month
or so. I've lived this far away for a little
over a year, and our feelings for each
other are still very strong, even though
we've agreed to date other people who live
My question for you
is, in this case do you think a long term
relationship is possible? I can't even
be attracted to any guys but him, and if
you think it's nearly impossible for us
to stay in love, it would get me thinking
about seriously trying to move on. Thanks
for any advice you could give!
It is possible
for love to last over long distances, and
many years. But, I have to say, they are
the exceptions. For it to work, both partners
need total commitment; total, I believe,
to the point where they simply couldn't
imagine any other partner. I'm met such
met, and split up a week later. They'd
hardly kissed - then they hardly saw each
other for three years, because of the line
of work they were in. Halfway through that
time, I said to the chap "Don't you
ever feel like seeing someone else, even
being totally honest with - ?" "No",
he said, and gave me a look that convinced
me that he thought I was stupid to even
consider such a thing.
As it happens,
they'd fallen in love at first sight (Yes,
they did - but that's another story). They
eventually married, five kids, and so far
as I know, they've never had a serious
argument. Lucky? Blessed? Who knows?
is, most of us don't have that gift. And
the world's a hard place. Look at the
clues you've given: "I've
been head over heels" "he
says he loves me too" "We've
agreed to date others" (Whose
idea was that?).
relationships start with strong feelings
and good intentions; admitting it's failed
can be painful and humiliating. Denying
the truth can, however, be poisonous and
undermine long term confidence and opportunities.
your relationship to work, indeed I'd admire
you both for your loyalty and strength.
But I'd hate to see both of you deceiving
each other and yourselves, trying to live
up to the expectations of others.
the truth; make it so.