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Love on a cruise

Daniel Writes:

I met her on a cruise and I can't get her off mind. She was wonderful and beautiful ... we talked the whole night and when she kissed me a chill went through my spine.

Every time I hear her name I get weak in the knees ... but lately it seems that she has been avoiding me [lots edited]

I don't want to be a big part in her life or even take up a lot of time I just want to be a part of her life.

I was wondering if you could give some advice on what to say to her my feelings or even write her an email on how I feel.

Please respond asap.

Dear Daniel:

I'm sorry, but it wasn't love, it was 'propinquity' - two people msinterpreting their feelings - she's back in the real world, you're still on the boat.

Propinquity happens when you are relaxed in someone's company but in an artificial situation - your subconscious, trying to make sense of it, thinks its love.

It's not.

Think of those office romances - two people find seconds of relaxation in a stressful world, think they're in love - the clue is what they say: "She made me laugh" "It's chemistry" "We just clicked".

Often warning signs.

The other clue is the pathetic and totally self-centered ending of your note; you have no interest in "her" you just think being there would make you feel better. Rubbish. It was good, it's over, move on.

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