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I have a crush on my friend

Philippa wrote:

Hi. I'm 14, and I have a crush on one of my friends.

I've known him for the last year or so. He's really smart, funny, cute, and outgoing amongst many other qualities.

I've told him how I feel about him but he doesn't feel the same.

Maybe it's because he's Asian and I'm not blonde. I don't know.

But, is there anything you can think of that may convince him to start liking me? Because he's really great and I know no one else like him and I really want him to like me.

Please help. Thanks.

Dear Philippa,

First off, I'm not clear on the problem ... if he's a friend of yours, you already have access to his finer qualities. What do you want? Keep him all to yourself? Lock him in your room? Own him?

What is that you want that you don't already have?

Second, who's the racist, you or him? If it's you, that might be the problem. Not everyone makes silly assumptions based on race.

Third, be yourself; either he wants you or he doesn't. Accept it and move on.

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