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Please Please Me

From Lost:

I've been married for 16 years and I'd like to tell my husband where and what pleases me. How can I do that without offending him?

Dear Lost,

I guess you've heard all the obvious answers already, and I guess it's no reassurance to be told that your problem is so very common - even the most gentle, caring men can be almost totally selfish in the matter of pleasing their partner.

You need to use this selfishness; think about what you want - but describe it to him in a way that sounds like what he wants. Won't always work, won't always be easy; but you'll surprise yourself. And once you've had a bit of practice, you'll both get the benefit.

What I'm saying is be selfish yourself. The only other tip I can offer is timing - Pick your moment.

Good Luck!

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