Am I too late to live at 57?
I am 57 and am at the end of my rope.
I am married and have six children and
twelve grandchildren. Since my youngest
two have been married I have been babysitting
with their children. First it was my youngest
and now it my second to the youngest. Her
daughter developed leukemia.
I don't mind babysitting with her it's
just I feel as tho I'm being pulled apart
cause it seems as tho I don't have time
for my other grandchildren. When they have
a function I am babysitting and can't go.
They tell me I don't love them as much
as I should.
My husband and I have grown far apart.
We never like to do anything together I
am more outgoing and love to talk and it
seems as tho we lost interest in the same
things in life. His day of fun is go to
store and back. I never invite people over
cause I never know how he will be.
If I talk to him he always ask me to repeat
myself and I yell at him cause I get tired
of repeating myself. But when I am on the
phone he understands everything I say.
I like country music and he hates my music
and he likes western TV shows so I have
to stay in my bedroom all the time and
Is my life over? What can I do now? He
is good to me when it comes to providing
me and he does most of the house work.
But I want to explore things and I feel
as tho I am being kept down. I just don't
know what to do. He sleeps down stairs
and I in my room, upstairs.
All we do together is go to yard sales.
When he wants to go on a trip he just goes
by himself. I have to babysit. I would
love to go somewhere for a month with out
him and see if he likes it. Is there any
hope for me?
You sound absolutely helpless, and I
have to consider that you might be 'clinically'
depressed, rather than just 'down' because
of your situation. If these feelings have
crept up recently (after all, you've been
married for almost 40 years), if you have
trouble sleeping, or wake early, if you've
recently lost - or gained - weight ...
all these things, and many more might,
just might, suggest a depression, which
is, of course, entirely treatable.
If you are not depressed, then you just
might be the most lazy, spineless an dselfish
woman around. You are blessed, yes, blessed,
with a big family who are close to you.
You have a husband who gives you room to
do as you like, and cleans up around you,
while you constantly bellow at him, and
make it clear you don't want to do anything
he wants to do. You spoil some of your
grandchildren, and wonder why their parents
resent it. I could go on.
Look at the baby sitting - are you being
taken advantage of, or is it nice being
a martyr? As for your poor husband,
for God's sake, talk to him! He may
be going a little deaf, but he ain't dead
yet! And he's not a mind reader. If I've
got it wrong, and these people really are
the pits - leave them. 57 is not old these
days, get a divorce and hit the trail.