Have I made wrong decisions?
In the last year and a half, I've gone
through quite a bit that I never would
have thought I'd allow to occur in my life.
I met this guy who I thought was great
when we first talked.
In the beginning of the relationship we
had a hard time getting along. He chose
his friends and his drug use over me, and
continued to do so for about two to three
months, until he got arrested for an unpaid
traffic ticket. During his time in jail,
he was unable to pay the rent for his apartment,
and was also unable to "rescue" his belongings
while there. So, the nice person that I
was, I offered to retrieve his things and
place them into a storage unit until he
I had never had to deal with any sort
of situations like this. I was the type
who would just move on the minute that
any guy gave me any hassle. While he was
in jail, we spoke quite often and got through
a lot of the problems that we had. Once
he got out, he moved in with a friend and
started to straighten himself out. We saw
each other more, and I never felt like
I was placed in last position. I felt like
I was actually a priority, and our relationship
After about three months, seven months
into our relationship, we decided to get
married. two and a half months after our
marriage I became pregnant. I am now five
months pregnant, and there are a load of
issues that I've been dwelling over. Right
now we live with his brother, and plan
on moving out a month before the baby's
due to be born.
Lately I've been feeling really lonely
and like there isn't anybody who cares
to hear me out. After I got married, I
seemed to have lost a major part of my
life, my friends. They don't ever come
around, and they never talk to me anymore.
I try to talk to them, but they always
seem to be short with me and they never
return my phone calls, or pages. the only
people that I have is my husband and my
family, which isn't all bad, but there
is a place where being able to go to a
friend is necessary.
I do blame my husband for my loss of friends,
mainly because he starts fights with me
to keep me home. he doesn't like it when
I go out and if I do go out, he tells me
that's there's no problems, until i get
home, where we argue for two days and he
takes me to the point of tears. he accuses
me of cheating in these arguments and tells
me that he thinks I was desperate before
we met because in his opinion I'd do anything
to get a guy into bed. Comments like that
make me feel ugly and worthless, when I
know deep down inside isn't true. It just
hurts to hear those sort of words from
someone that I love so much.
I don't know if this is a relationship
that I should get out of, or if I'm just
being overly emotional about everything
because I'm pregnant and I get lonely while
he's at work, and I'm home alone with nobody
to talk to. I am quite young to be going
through all this, and I should be looking
at my future and what I'm planning on doing
for a career, rather then raising a child
and being a wife.
I am only 19 years old and I will be 20
when I have my baby. I know that if I was
to leave, with the help of my family I
can accomplish my goals in life. Then again,
I know that if I was to stay I would be
able to do the same, just with not as much
ease. I don't know what I should do really,
and I'm just looking for advice about what
I should do, and if maybe all together,
I made the wrong decisions. What do you
Who knows if you made good or bad decsions?
No-one knows what would (or would not)
have happened if you'd decided different.
So don't torture yourself on that. You
have quite enough to think about with the
to help you, because I have a strong feeling
that you really are quite lost. So I'm
not even going to attempt to push you one
way or another. I'm going to concentrate
on helping you to see the issues. You need
to think about all these things, then,
hopefully, you'll get a clearer idea what
you want. Then, if you need to, write me
1. What is
the attraction to your man? Is it because
he's different? Is it just physical? Is
he strong - or does he control you because
he's scared? Has he changed since you met,
or has your vision changed?
who needs 'em? All of us, that's who. Why
are you losing them? Are you embarassed
because of your man? Are they just 'too
good' for you now? Is he driving them away,
are you, or perhaps they weren't good friends.
Why aren't you making new friends?
Do you tell your family the truth, the
whole truth? Have their feelings changed
to you, or yours to them? If they help
you (perhaps to leave him) will there be
Do you really have a future with a man
who (mentally) tortures you and devalues
you? A man whom you blame for losing your
friends? Will he let you develop a career?
5. The Baby
is your future.
you want, and do it.