Driving me crazee
Tanya Wrote:
I have a concern about
my relationship with my fiancé. We have
been dating for three years, and living
together for two of those. The problem
is a few months ago, I asked him to leave
because I just felt like something was
wrong.
Actually, I felt like he
just didn't love me anymore. I know that
sounds irrational or paranoid, but he just
seemed so unhappy. We were not talking,
or spending any time together, other than
the fact that we both shared the residence.
I was just in a great deal of pain seeing
him like he was, and feeling like I was.
I talked to him about
it, told him that I felt that he didn't
love me, he said that his feelings had
not changed, but he was not the same person
he was when we met. Of course he isn't,
neither am I. Anyway, he was only gone
for five days, and I was missing him terribly.
We got together and talked
about a lot of things that I had no idea
he had even thought about. Things seemed
to be going well for a little while. Then
I started noticing these changes in his
behavior, it is not something I can put
my finger on, he was just so much more
aggressive than I had ever seen him. His
father passed away in January, and his
family (who have also noticed the change)
think it may have something to do with
that. Even the way he talks, is different.
For the better part of
our relationship, he has been quiet, almost
passive, as a matter of fact, I had spoken
with him several times about that. We would
never argue, although I know there were
times when I said or did things that upset
him. He would always tell me that he did
not want to hurt my feelings. Now it seems
just the opposite. I am not saying that
he goes out of his way to hurt my feelings,
but he defintely has gotten over what he
called fear.
He stays out all night
"driving", at least that is what he tells
me that he is doing. The other night, he
got out of bed in the middle of the night
to "drive". He says that I don't understand,
that it is like a drug for him to drive,
and it energizes him and makes him feel
good.
I told him after the second time, that
I didn't want him doing that anymore, I
find it disrespectful to me. He said he
wouldn't yet he has again. The other day,
I told him again, that since this staying
out all night driving was something that
he doesn't seem to be able to give, that
he had to leave.
I wasn't breaking up with
him at that point, I just could not go
on any longer letting him do that. So he
told me again that he would give it up.
We came to a compromise, he would be home
by 2:00 a.m. on any night, driving or not.
He said that for most of our relationship
he had been depressed, and now he isn't!
I am thrilled to know that he feels good,
I just don't understand why his feeling
good seems to be at my expense. I just
don't know what to think. I asked him the
other night was he on drugs, he said no,
so at this point, I have no choice but
believe him.
I want to believe him,
and that we will be married next year,
and everything will be fine. The other
night on one of his rides, he got a ticket
for driving with his music too loud. This
man is 42 years-old, and all of a sudden,
he is acting just like he says he feels.
Like a 20 year-old! What is your first
instinct on this?
I would really appreciate
an objective opinion
Dear Tanya,
You have taken 1000 words to say what you
cannot face. You want my opinion? Get
rid of this jerk and get a life.
|
