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Queenie wrote:

There is a man I have been interested it for the past two years. Anyway he was in a 12yr relationship. He is now getting a divorce and has bought my mobile home since I had to move out so we have talked a lot more in this past month than in the last two years.

Today he came by work to sign the final papers and we were chit chatting outside, first he shook my hand good bye then i made another comment and we talked a little more than he said he had to go get some stuff from his ex's house before she threw them out and squeezed my upper arm as he told me.

Is this a sign of interest?? My friend says I need to make the first move because his whole life has been around controlling women.

What do you think? He got involved with his wife when he was 20 and she ended up pregnant about two months after and has stayed with her I believe because of his daughter whom he adores. Please help I will see him again in the next few days and need to know if I should make a move. I am very shy and self conscious since I am about 60 lbs overweight, and it petrifies me to think i will make a fool of myself. THANK YOU

Dear Queenie,
When you're shy, it's tempting to let others make your decisions - but you must never let them do your thining for you. You don't know this man, except through rumour and tittle-tattle, so your priority is to get to know him; also, he's been through a divorce, never easy for anyone, whatever the causes.

All this is saying "take it very, very slowly". There's no first move to make, just yet. Just keep in touch with him, on a friendly basis, and see what happens. Anyway, if he's that 'controlled' you don't really want to scare him, do you?

One other thing; forgive me if I've misread this; you sound a little lonely, and very concerned about your weight. My only worry here is that you must keep your feet firmly on the ground; don't let wishful thinking take over. Do think about getting to places where you'll meet people in more 'normal' circumstances. And if you are concerned with your weight, be positive, make a realistic resolution. And keep a diary.

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