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Abused: Is it O.K. to hate?

Maureen wrote:
My dad has been sexually, emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusing me since I can remember. He is out of the house now, because I reported him. I'm getting counseling now, but its not nearly enough. I guess my question is, is that is it O.K. for me to hate my dad?

Ever since he's been out of the house, I've also been more angry, aggressive and violent.

I'm afraid that I might end up winding myself into great trouble. There's also always the possibility of hurting others. I make my mom cry almost everyday because i've also begun to lie a lot. I won't hang on your advice, but can you give me any small hint?

Dear Maureen,
I doubt there's a living soul who would - or could - blame you for hating. And even if we all said 'it's wrong to hate', you'd still hate.

All abuse survivors hate; it's OK. In fact, it's vital.

And I mean that. But - and it's a big but - do not let hate consume you, because hate won't hurt him, hate hurts you. For now, hate makes you feel that tiny bit better, and it gives you the strength to move on.

So use that hate to put distance (emotional distance, maybe real distance?) between you.

Then start to move on in yourself; never forget it - you won't - but start to separate it off from your life.

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