Going around the world

Eric wrote:

My wife wants me to move to england, I don't want to and had stipulated that quite clearly, prior to her flying out here to W.Australia. She had almost completed perm. residency here when she flew home.

Whilst here, she repeatedly told me that she was keen to stay and make a go of it. Now she says that she doesn't want to live here, because she wants to be closer to her family. But still swears that ''she loves me with all her heart'' and wants to save our marriage ''whatever it takes", with a little sacrifice from both of us.

I feel it is a waste of time, because I've been to England and hated it, and don't want to start all over again with new doctors. I am on a weekly dose of chemo, for the rest of my life. And, as is obvious, my wife doesn't want to live here! Also, she has a real problem with being open and honest with me. She's not a talker. What should I do?, or, What should she do?

Dear Eric

No easy answer. You both want to compromise, but, other than living in Sri Lanka, that will not help. Knowing your health problems, and that you hate England, she's been quite brave to assert her views - which probably surprised her as much as you when she realised how strongly she felt.

I can see your frustration - but your 'stipulation' was without value; how could she know in advance. If one of you is holding out "on principle", then a bit of common sense, and you'll be right - if you both genuinely feel that strongly - I'm sorry.