I need to move on ...

Rachel wrote:

I'm 44, seperated for two years, with two girls (13 and 14). I have been going out with my new partner for 19 months and we are totally in love and best mates. He lives in Sydney I'm in Melbourne. I would love to be with him, as I love him and Sydney.

My girls love their dad and he is an excellent father. He has promised to take me through every court in the land so as I won't take the girls with me, they want to stay with me. I believe I can win but agonise over the moral issue of taking the girls away from their dad and friends and family, school etc.

Also financially I would be struggling financially but would be okay. I have held on for several years always considering whats best for others and now believe it's my turn for a little happiness. I don't want to lose this wonderful man! Do I go for it or consider others and stay?

Dear Rachel,

You don't even mention him coming to Melbourne. Or waiting until the girls finish school. I can sympathise with your desperation not to lose this man, especially as he seems unlikely to make any effort himself, or wait two years for you.

But are you really prepared to ruin the girls education? Take your happiness, if you must, but consider leaving the girls where they are, or with their Dad. Promise them they can join you when they've taken all their exams. Of course they want to be with you - but they probably haven't thought through the consequences. You must.