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Too shy to to succeed

Winona asks:

I just want to ask how can I get rid of my shy attitude. I'm always nervous and if my teacher ask me a question, even if i got an idea whats the answer is, i feel like i dont know the answer because I'm shy and it will end up like i dont know the answer.

Please help me.

I got lack of self confidence and I dont know what to do. I'm also worried that I might not get a good job in the future and just end up a cleaner because of this attitude of mine.

I also dont understand myself, I'm always having day-dreaming and I just can't help it. When I go to bed, I'm always thinking about some things before I go to sleep. I can't say that I got a mind problem because I know I'm in my right mind. please tell me what is happening to me because I really dont know what to do.

Dear Winona,

Being shy can seem very much like the end of the world, and its effects get everywhere.

Being shy is part of being you - which does NOT mean you cannot do anything about it, but it does mean that you can't change overnight, and you can't change completely.

Also, however unnoticed you feel, people prefer quiet people to overbearing bores, so don't change too much!

Focus on the little things that you can change, and you'll notice the overall benefit. For example, stop using "i" when you mean "I". Now.

Start making eye contact whenever you speak - practice on friends and family, not the school bully!

But the main thing is to take control of yourself. Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror, daily, and say "I know what I'm talking about", "I'm as good as ..." and so on.

In class, start answering the questions that have an uncomplicated answer, avoid the ones that need explanations.

Also, join things where you can teach younger people on a one-to-one basis (first aid or something); that'll help your confidence.

Good Luck - and concentrate!

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