I'm really ashamed ... this isn't me
Dear Anon, Last night I stayed at
a friends house and we were drinking
a lot and I got really pissed, then
I decided to try weed for the first
Then shortly after that her and her
boyfriend suggested a threesome and
because I was under the influence
and didn't have a clear head I agreed
and so we did it. At the time I think
I enjoyed it but now I think about
it and want to be sick this isn't
me, I'm not the type to drink and
get high and to have sex with anyone.
I am still in shock and I know that
I am not a lesbian nor a bisexual
but I am having a hard time facing
reality that I really did do this.
I don't know how to look at her
the same anymore especially after
being as close as we were last night.
I want so badly to blame someone
for this mistake but I just don't
know what to think or say or do.
Please help me. I feel really ashamed
and really dirty. This isn't me.
What is going on with me and my life.
How could I have done this.
Please help me.
is you; you did it, you cannot turn
back the clock. No-one forced you;
you did the drinking, you did the
smoking .. you did the enjoying too.
it may be that they encouraged you,
perhaps even planned to get you drinking
more than you realised. Perhaps not
- I notice that thought hasn't troubled
so, neither alcohol nor weed are going
to make you enjoy something you really
don't enjoy, though either might make
you more open to persuasion.
suspect your shame is more about the
enjoying, the lack of control
over yourself - and learning that
you might not be quite the person
that you thought you were.
the initial shock wears off, it'll
look clearer, and probably - if your
friends are discreet - it'll become
just another memory.
have learned a little about life.