Church worried about me!

Claire wrote:

I hope you can give me some insight on how I should handle this matter. Picture this, small southern town, lived here two years. Attended same church for two years. Have not attended lately. Now it seems about every two weeks, members are calling to see if we are okay.

Lucky me I have voice mail! Do I owe this church an explanation for not attending anymore? If not, then how do I handle their calls without being totally rude?

Dear Claire,

A fascinating mystery! And the answer, as you know, lies in what you have not told me!

Now, which church you attend, and how often, is none of my business, or theirs. And likewise for your ceasing to attend.

But you know as well as I do, that the events are linked. If, say, you stopped going after a row with a church member, then either they feel guily - or they are waiting for an apology. If you just stopped going, for reasons that they cannot know, they may be genuinely concerned about you, or concerned that they have hurt you in some way. Only you can possibly know what's going on here.

Without this knowledge, I can only advise you to be honest; "Thank you for your concern, but I have decided not to attend, and I'd be grateful if you could leave it at that." Not so hard?