When is a date not a date?
I am seventeen years
old and so is my ex-boyfriend. We were
together for two and half years before
we broke up a month ago.
We are trying now to work things out.
My ex says that if he wants to go out,
like to a movie or something with one of
his friends, he should be able to, no matter
if the friend is male or female. I'm not
so sure about this because it sounds like
a date to me.
He says that a date is where the man pays
for the woman, and they hold hands and
act "romantic". He also says
that he would treat a female friend who
he was going out with just the same as
a male friend he would go out with.
His defense is, "So, if I go to a
movie with Brandon, it means we're going
on a date?" What do you think, am
I making a big deal out of nothing?
"We are trying now to work things
out", you said? Wrong. You may be,
but he most definitely is not. He's playing
games. You sent me the words of the disagreement
- forget them.
Look at what's underneath them. If he
wanted to get back with you, he wouldn't
be saying such tosh. Of course it's possible
for a man to go out with a woman 'as a
friend' - but ask yourself why he should
want to, without taking you too.
Don't ask him, unless you want to be lied
to. He wants you - if you're prepared to
let him treat you like dirt; he wants you,
if you don't mind all his friends (and
maybe yours) laughing at you.
You didn't tell me what kind of relationship
you had; but you are both at the beginning
of adulthood. You don't need him to tell
you what a date is - you both know. And
you both know that he's weaving a web of
half-truths. And you obviously do not believe
Your reputations are made now and may
last a lifetime. Is this lying creep worth
throwing away your reputation? Don't argue;
walk - and don't look back.