When is a date not a date?

Annie wrote:

I am seventeen years old and so is my ex-boyfriend. We were together for two and half years before we broke up a month ago.

We are trying now to work things out. My ex says that if he wants to go out, like to a movie or something with one of his friends, he should be able to, no matter if the friend is male or female. I'm not so sure about this because it sounds like a date to me.

He says that a date is where the man pays for the woman, and they hold hands and act "romantic". He also says that he would treat a female friend who he was going out with just the same as a male friend he would go out with.

His defense is, "So, if I go to a movie with Brandon, it means we're going on a date?" What do you think, am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Dear Annie,

"We are trying now to work things out", you said? Wrong. You may be, but he most definitely is not. He's playing games. You sent me the words of the disagreement - forget them.

Look at what's underneath them. If he wanted to get back with you, he wouldn't be saying such tosh. Of course it's possible for a man to go out with a woman 'as a friend' - but ask yourself why he should want to, without taking you too.

Don't ask him, unless you want to be lied to. He wants you - if you're prepared to let him treat you like dirt; he wants you, if you don't mind all his friends (and maybe yours) laughing at you.

You didn't tell me what kind of relationship you had; but you are both at the beginning of adulthood. You don't need him to tell you what a date is - you both know. And you both know that he's weaving a web of half-truths. And you obviously do not believe him.

Your reputations are made now and may last a lifetime. Is this lying creep worth throwing away your reputation? Don't argue; walk - and don't look back.