Boyfriend broke up with me
MY BOYFRIEND JUST BROKE
UP WITH ME ABOUT FOUR WEEKS AGO, WE WERE
RIGHT BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR,
SOME BARTENDER AT A LOCAL BAR OFFERED HERSELF
TO MY MAN ... HE NEVER TOOK HER UP ON THIS
OFFER, BUT I WAS STILL FEELING SCARED ...
BUT KNOWING HE WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ME.
ABOUT 4 MONTHS LATER, I LEFT MY MAN AT
ANOTHER LOCAL BAR AFTER WORK, HE SAID THAT
HE WILL CALL ME 1/2 HOUR LATER, THEN I
LEFT, THEN 20 MIN. LATER HIS FRIENDS LEFT.
HE STAYED FOR ONE MORE DRINK, WHILE THIS
SLUTTY BROAD IS WALKING AROUND THE BAR
ASKING EVERYONE FOR A RIDE HOME, WELL SHE
ASKED MY MAN, KNOWING WE WERE TOGETHER.
... HE TOOK HER HOME. HE NEVER CALLED AND
DIDN'T COME HOME FOR ABOUT 3 1/2 HOURS.
SO I ASKED QUESTIONS, HE LIED, BUT I HAD
ALREADY KNOWN WHERE HE WAS AT. WHEN I SAID
THAT I KNEW AND WHO TOLD ME, HE CHANGED
HIS STORY, AND GOT MAD AT THAT PERSON.
FOR 2 WEEKS I WAS MISERABLE, BECAUSE I
BELIEVED HIM BUT I DIDN'T. AND I WAS A
CRYING MESS, THEN I STARTED TO GET BETTER,
AND TRIED TO FORGET ABOUT IT ALL, ALL OF
THE SUDDEN HE SAID " THIS ISN'T WORKING
OUT, WE SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER".
I WAS DEVASTATED. WHY DO YOU THINK HE
DID THIS? HE WON'T TELL ME WHY, HE WON'T
EVEN TALK ABOUT IT, AND HE WON'T EVEN GIVE
OUR RELATIONSHIP A SECOND CHANCE. WHY?
I'M STARTING TO GET ANGRY.
I'm going to break this down because
your (edited) note contains so many contradictions:
1. NO NEED TO SHOUT
2. You say "We were good together"
- Like, when? Since last year, you've been
rowing, fighting. He's been lying and cheating.
You've not trusted him an inch, and you've
involved people who've tried to help you.
You've helped to find him women who are
willing, by labelling them for him ( "SLUTTY
BROAD" ). Very nice, I'm sure. Face
it, Helen, you hate each other, and you
were too cowardly to get out - so now you
resent it when he does.
3. If you are worried about what people
think, don't worry. They're laughing at
you. Believe me, if people have been queueing
up to tell you what he's up to for months,
they're not doing out out of kindness.
Maybe the first two were.
2. Never, ever, blame the 'other woman'.
You don't know whose 'fault' it was they
they got off - I doubt they do. These things
happen. But they only happen because your
man was looking for it. Face it, Helen,
if you're such a non-trusting, whining,
self centred fool, he probably had a sign
round his neck saying "Help!"
3. "For two weeks I was miserable"
- you mean you punished him for two weeks?
"I was a crying mess" - I believe
you, we all do. "... and tried to
forget all about it" - so you didn't
want to discuss it at that time? What's
to discuss now? The price of cookies?
4. So then he dumps you, with what sounds
to me like the absolute God-given simple
truth "This isn't working out, we
shouldn't be together". Anyone with
half an ounce of common sense would say
"You're right, get the chain saw,
we'll divide the car" but no:
" I WAS DEVASTATED."