Advicemeant Archive 2000

Body Odour - Sometimes friendship isn't easy. If you've noticed, so has everyone else. If you can't ... /1213

Fair weather friend - Read what you've written. Imagine you heard someone else say it - She's no friend, is she? And ... /1212

Husband - Please Please Me - I guess you've heard all the obvious answers already, and I guess it's no reassurance to be told that your problem is so very common ... /1210

Off the rails since his dad died - I can tell that you're desperate - but I'm not clear why. Are you frightened of losing him ... / 1209

Help me with controlling husband - No easy answers - but you knew that. First, be sure that he is not right to complain. It's unlikely that /1208

Am I too old to live at 57? - You sound absolutely helpless, and I have to consider that you might be 'clinically' depressed, rather than just 'down' because .. /1207

Have I made wrong decisions? - Who knows if you made good or bad decsions? No-one knows what would (or would not) have happened if you'd decided different. So don't torture yourself on that. /1206

He still controls me - Thanks for the detail, which gives me context to give you a clear and straight reply. I've shown enough so that the many thousands of women in a similar situation will recognise it. /1205

Cowardly in Kentucky - Let's face it, you've gone through life taking easy options and running away. Your real problem now is that you've met someone who wants ... /1204

Driving me crazee - You have taken 1000 words to say what you cannot face. You want my opinion ... /1203

Porcine Aviation - He's an adulterer, a liar (to you as well as his wife), a flirt, and a fool. You, it seems ... /1202

Mixed messages -  When you're shy, it's tempting to let others make your decisions - but you must never let them do your thining for you. You don't know this man, except through rumour /1201

My boy's gone bad - He's a man, he's making his own decisions ... I do not believe ... /1128

My Dad's a jerk - You've described your problem very clearly; now all you need to do is prove that ... /1127

Why don't teenagers? - Life is about incentives. Either he feels his efforts are ... /1126

Sleepless in baby town - Believe me, you have my sympathy ... /1125

Abused: Is it ok to hate? - I doubt there's a living soul who would - or could - blame you ... /1124

What age can kids be left? - There's three issues here ... /1123

My son won't listen - Give the kid a break. He probably can't get a word in edgeways. I'm not saying ... /1122

Please help my angry son / 1121

Noisy Kids getting me down - Children make a noise; that what they do, that's their job. /1120

How do I manage useless employee - You are not paid to be popular, you are paid to get the job done. ... /1115

How do I crawl to useless boss - You've made it quite clear that you are a complete and utter crawler, so of course ... /1114

Everyone's picking on me - Do you seriously believe your colleagues are buying and smoking cigarettes just to harass you ... / 1113

A noisy noise annoys - You say a majority dislikes Jim's taste - and yet you're writing to me. Either you are fibbing or he's ... /1112

When isn't a good job? - It wasn't easy - it won't be for you, but all I can advise ... /1111

Manager likes employee - I don't think for one moment you are consciously doing wrong ... / 1110

Will work destroy our love? - it's hard to imagine how you got to be in charge of the tea trolley, let alone the ... /1109

Promotion changed the man - You don't say how long he's had the job; if it's just a few weeks, he's probably... /1108

Grossly unjust manager - remember the world is throbbing with bad managers. But there's always ... /1107

Turning into a bully - Sad, isn't it? You've grown up with a macho-man mentality, and moved into ... /1106

Too tense to be funny - Stop trying. If you are getting work, be grateful for that - ... /1105

Boss's babe is in my face - First, you can bet your bottom dollar that things will settle down; sure, they may ... /1104

Mysterious weight loss - I'm sure she's scared, such a big loss in a short time should frighten anyone. Now, you know that I can't ... /1103

Rape, Time and Self Respect - You are perfectly normal. But you do need help. Even after ten years, it is not too late to ... /1102

Commuting round the world - No easy answer. You both want to compromise, but, other than living in Sri Lanka ... /1101

Whose Life Is It, Anyway? - What you say makes perfect sense, and, as you know - you are not alone. We all get used, we all get let down .. some more than others ... /1008

Saving Private Bryan Dear Bryan's Dad, I've put off replying to this for a week, hoping I could find an ounce of sympathy. But I can't. You are truly a man who would lay down his son ... / 1007

No Time Like A Present - Isn't awful when a happy event becomes a family competition? First, try to be sure if Uncle meant it. And hold that thought. Second, the perfect gift if he meant it ... /1006

Fun or Funeral? - Technically, I'm sure you are right. But this isn't about etiquette, it's about people's feelings. How close were you to your Grandmother? Is your Grandfather alive, and will he ... /1005

Lazy? Well, probably. - I can't help your confusion, because you give no information. As to the laziness ... it's a simple matter of realizing ... /1004

Who shall I be friends with? - If you really need a total stranger to pick your friends, you're a little sad, don't you think ... /1003

Broke the alcohol laws - Help me out here, I don't know your laws. Is it a crime to have someone underage drive your car with alcohol in it? If so, what's the beef? If your son ... /1002

Friend shares my taste - in everything - How do you feel about it? Flattered? Sad? Contempt? What? The simple answer ... /1001

Jealousy - whose problem? - Don't tell me what 'everyone said' - what did you say... /0912

I want to see it squirm - He's a jerk, and he's used you. And ... /0911

How can I propose? - Seems to me that you are confusing friendship and marriage ... /0910

Well, does he like me? - /0909

I want my best friend's Ex - You tell me they broke up; that means he's free to ... /0908

Trainee stalker on the loose - Short of wearing a "Sod Off" T-Shirt, what has the poor guy got to do ... /0907

Sexual awakening or what? - As a man, I'm not best placed to answer this ... /0906

Hangin' on the telephone - You are so right ... /0905

Surrounded by boyfriends - It's simple math. You set out to ... /0904

Fantasy or real life - Some individuals live on fantasy ... /0903

Am I as stupid as this? Really? - The deal not to speak to other guy was probably stupid ... /0902

Stuck in the middle with you - If you need to ask, then you .... /0901

Abusive Relationship?  - You love him? What on Earth are you talking about? ... /0815

Separation - end or beginning?  - Only you can answer this; you know her, you know in your heart of hearts ... /0814

Is there acure for jealousy?  - Not easy. There's two sorts of jealousy; appropriate jealousy, and the ... /0813

My man is such a loner  - It may shock you, but there are millions of people just like him .... /0812

My wife is SO untidy  - Forget the untidiness, your marriage is falling apart, that's the ... /0811

I need to move on - You don't even mention him coming to you. Or waiting until the girls finish school ... /0810

Am I too shy to succeed? - Being shy can seem very much like the end of the world ... /0809

Will this fool pay my bills? - from your words, you have been using this man ... /0808

What are my unmarried rights? - If he writes a will, there's probably no problem ... /0807

I'm really ashamed ... this isn't me - Then who is it? You were there, you were enjoying it at the time ... /0806

Why do men fear women? - If I knew the answer, I'd have made my fortune selling it ... /0805

Baby insists on Dad's name - She should try to imagine what the baby might want. /0804

Family breaking up? - Whether the family stay together or not, the family will still exist, and you'll still all need each other, in different ways. /0803

Trouble in Connecticut - Are you still heartbroken? Are you scared? Of moving? Of not having your father around ... /0802

A cycle of self-hate - You've tried one way, but there are many others, from therapy to ... /0801

I want to grow up quicker - I promise you that the human body will grow up just as quick as it can, it's nothing short of a .. /0713

Church concerned about me! - A fascinating mystery! And the answer, as you know, lies in what you have not told me! Now, which church you attend, and how often ... /0712

I hate my best friend! - The only problem here is you. You aren't married to Naome, all you have to do ... /0711

When is a date not a date ... "We are trying now to work things out", you said? Wrong. You may be ... /0709

I let myself be used ... Either you want to say yes - which might be a problem, but might not be. Or ... /0708

My friend wants my friend ... Read your note, which I've shown in full, really carefully ... /0707

Help fix green infestation ... Well, they're going out together, so they're entitled to flirt, aren't they? On what you've given me ... /0706

Boyfriend broke up with me ... I'm going to break this down because your (edited) note contains so many contradictions: 1. NO NEED TO SHOUT 2. You say "We were good together" - Like, when? ... /0705

Is he scared of my daddy? ... He's male, he likes you as a friend ... Has he had the opportunity? Men are simple creatures. Given means, motive and opportunity, they don't generally need /0704

"Can there be a second chance?" ... I know exactly what he's thinking. [I was young once]. He's thinking "Melanie may ... /0703

Just met - and he's gone... ... You've heard the old saying, "All Men Are B*****"? Well, now you've seen the proof. He'd split up with the 'Ex', maybe convinced himself, as well as you, that it was final. Once ... /0702

I broke a promise ... It's difficult to help you, because you are not being honest with me, are you? This whole thing hinges on Why He Asked You To Promise, doesn't it? Is it because he already didn't ... /0701